This week's passage of study for
BSF was a hard one.
Exodus 32 is about the Israelites creating & worshiping the golden calf (resulting in severe consequences). One of the things I've learned in the last few years is that it's ok to
struggle over scripture & ask God questions. In the past I would have breezed through this passage, & said, "Ok, so God & sin don't mix, silly Israelites," or I would have pushed any questions out of my brain before they could become completely conscious thoughts.
So instead of running the other way this time (esp. when I hit verse 27 or so), I let my brain ask questions. I wrestled - well, I'm still wrestling. And you know what I figured out so far? I don't have the answers. I don't get it. I don't understand
God's ways.
Though I'm not done processing yet, here are some things God has opened my eyes to so far:
-I take Christ's sacrifice for granted. God really hates sin. Sin = death. I recently read this about sin: "Your job is the relentless pursuit of who God has made you to be. And anything else you do is sin" (see Velvet Elvis link). Praise God for the indescribable gift we have through Jesus & thank you for reminding me of that gift as we prepare to celebrate His birth!
-As Rob Bell mentions in his book
Velvet Elvis, scripture is meant to be talked about & discussed - after all it is
living and active. I could talk more about that, but I won't right now (feel free to read the book, it's awesome! :-) I felt hugely blessed tonight to have a group of women of different ages, denominations, and backgrounds, with whom I could pour out my struggles with this scripture & all my questions. I found that where I saw judgement, others saw mercy. Where I saw hopelessness others saw the hope we have in Christ. Where I saw death, others saw life. It was/is pretty amazing.
-I need to take sin seriously. I'm not talking about running up to everyone I see with my bullhorn & yelling in their faces about judgement. I'm talking about recognizing sin in my life & letting go of my excuses for letting sin cycles creep in. I'm talking about getting rid of my idols: laziness, entertainment, food, sleep, possessions... and remembering God is more than enough - He is completely sufficient, & every blessing in my life is a
gift from Him.
Speaking of sufficient...2 Corinthians 12:9-10 is some of my favorite scripture & that's what I want to end with:
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.